Monday, May 24, 2010

If it continues like this...I dont think I will make it.

It only gets harder

with every day that passes

The dreams become more real (nightmares)

The images never go away

everything triggers the thoughts (well not everything but allot of things)

This is much to hard

everything hurts

To be awake

to sleep

to breath

to eat

I dont think I can do it much more...

2 more weeks and it will be a year out of a hospital

Im coming apart at the seams, but I wont go back, to hear others talking/having tried to kill themselves ...when I just lost my husband to suicide.

I may jump them, or kill them

so they will have MORE of a reason to keep me there.

but

the if this shit continues, I just dont think I will make...

I just dont know how :(

7 comments:

Eating Alone said...

No words of wisdom, just a cyber hug. You can make it! find someone, not a profesional, to talk to. Just talk. Some one that you can do it with in real time. Even it is just a pastor or something. Good luck, God bless and big hugs.

韋于倫成 said...

Hey!Nice post~........................................................

Alexandra Rising said...

Hug Hug Hug
Think of your little ones. They love you. You love them.

Sairs said...

*hugs* I'm thinking of you hun. Please make sure you are safe and if you are not, take yourself somewhere where you are!

belinda said...

you know i hear you
i too could have written this post
this isn't what you want to hear but i'm going to say it anyway.. time. it does get easier. there will be more good days and the dreams (nightmares) will lessen.

have you got a project you can work on that embraces you?

Xx

firefly said...

Love you! You are stronger then this. You will get through this. God is in charge

lisalisa said...

Draw close to the Lord and to people who support you! Lean on them to get you through! We are all pulling for you!
I wish I could help. Just know that I care.