The girl/women who would run 10 miles in the morning before anyone was up.
The girl/women who would eat 300-400 calories a day.
The girl/women who would weigh herself at least 10 times a day.
The girl/women who would feel that the 10 miles was not enough by 2pm and anxiously await the arrival of her husband whom she would lie to and say she hadnt run yet and need to run to have a break for the kids and to "run off the anxiety".
The girl/women who was the wife of an alcoholic husband.
The/girl/women who went in and out of tx centers NEVER wanting to really recover.
The girl/women of three beautiful children who were put 2nd to her Eating disorder.
The girl/women who would hide at night and eat a half dozen donuts and then proceed to vomit in the bathroom so no one would no my dirty little secret.
The girl/women who lied to everyone to keep her Eating Disorder.
The girl/women who was in complete and utter DENIAL.
Who I am now:
The mother of Three beautiful children who come first 100% of the time.
The widow of an alcoholic husband.
The Women who is completely honest about EVERYTHING!!! Because she has learned that secrets keep you sick.
The Women who has an anxiety disorder, and fully acknowledges it!
The women who is in Recovery from her Eating disorder because she chooses to be so not because she was forced into tx.
The women who wants to live.
The women who knows the right thing to do and actually does it.
What I will be:
The mother of three beautiful children.
The widow of an abusive alcoholic husband who has forgiven him for what he had done and for choosing to end his own life.
The women who is RECOVERED from her Eating disorder.
The women who may feel anxious at times but knows and USES the skills to prevent her from feeling out of control.
The women who fights for what she believes in...and wins!!!
The women who uses her story of pain and her journey into and through Recovery to inspire others.
The women who fought against all odds and WON!!
The women who smiles at the small things.
The women her appreciates all that she has gone through because she knows it made her stronger and gave her the ability to become who she is today.
The women who writes her book and sees it published.
The women who finds love, isn't afraid of it, embraces it, and loves back.
The women who I was always meant to be!!!!
yes I know there have been 2 posts in one day...(my sisters taking an exam so I have access to my computer) I have had allot of thoughts lately...I could really write like 5 posts today but I wont because soon my boy will be home from school, and he needs me to be the good mom that I already am. Please read both posts as the first one is a struggle (i'm doing it though) and this one...well I just think I needed to "say" it. You know so I don't somehow forget!!
Love to all,