That he was alive.
He was mad at me for making plans Fathers Day weekend and not including him.
He told me I should be more considerate of his feelings...I aploligized...he was still angry.
I was confused.
We talked ablout Zacks sleepover tonight and how I should have asked him...I was still very confused.
I asked him where was he he these last 9 weeks, why did he pretend to be dead.
He said he was just "testing" me.
I was angry.
I woke and called his number....the phone was no longer in service...it sank in, He really is dead.
Hes dead., its not some test, at least not one of his....he is Dead.
When I woke up I really thought, that everything that had happened these last nine weeks was the dream, but its not...he really is dead.
Fuck my stupid ass Dreams.
Fuck this world.
I should have been more considerate...sweeter...forgiving...Fuck, Im such a bitch, Fuck Im sorry, Fuck.
Really I thought it wasnt real, its like i just found out for the first time ALL OVER again..dam this shit, Damit