wowser did we have a great session!!!! SO lets see if I can remember all we talked about...hmmmm she started off saying three things to me: first she said catch me up on symptom use, which I did....some purging, some restricting, no exercise and of course she was thrilled because my reduction in symptom use is phenomal, i went from purging 5-6 xs a day to 2-3 timee a week she was thrilled about that. Of corse she said the ultimate goal is to make teh behavior nil as in gone completely, becasue we know what a slippery slope it can be for me...like one slip and down I start to tumble, kinda like jack and jill if you will.
So her second question was what did you learn a seemily obvious question as she hasnt seen me in 5 weeks. BOy did I have allot to say, I mean I could nt stop talking about all I learned, all about DBT skills, and Radical acceptance, and doing tons of BCAs, learning all about my triggers, like I KNOW 4 pm is a very vulnerable time for, we decieded ( and ofcourse to consult K) it might be a blood sugar thing and maybe I need to eat a snack around that time like a planned snack not one that I would feel guilty about, cause I guess a drop in blood sugar can feel allot like a panic attack and because my hunger cues arent yet where they need to be I might not be able to tell the difference..hmmm something to ponder a little more.
So then her third question was what needs to change and she was like you have changed so much but lets go there anyway so we did and to my suprize she is all for following the DBT moduale that I have coem to knwo and work with very well. We continue to do daily diary cards and I must bring them into each session and of course any time I engage in a behavior such as restricting, purging or body checking ( my form of weighing) I will need to fill out a BCA (behavior chain analysis) and bring it into our session. I am also to check in at least once a week by email even though I see her every tues and friday, she really wants me to check in friday night and give her my weekend plan as to keep me focused on my goals!
We also talked about having daily (albiet small) goals I can achieve every day, todays goals were to clean kitchen, bathroom and playroom, SO far I have all done but the playroom, go me. and to add to the agenda I am suppossed to do soemthing every day (excluding computer time) that has to do with living my "REAL" life, today will be watching the kids paly in the pool and the yard after the baby lays down for a nap...whew...we talked about allot and she is wicked proud of how I have been able to articulate my needs and wants and desires...for not only RECOVERY but for life in general.
I know this was a semi boreing post but I wanted to express how well I am actually doing compared to yesterday whiner of a post.
Okay much love my peeps