just now I just did it...my stomach is swirling...why did I just do that? I have allot of reasons and I am going to dig into them right now cause really i cancelled cause I am to fat to be seen,at least thats what I have been feeling the last hour and a half I have been awake...ohhh you are probally wondering what session...my session with S, you know my therapy lover. My T whom I love and adore and teh T who would never just me, yeah I just cancelled on her..left her a voicemail, she willbe thrilled when she gets it...I told her I didnt even want to do a phone checkin...i told her I would email her later...what is wrong with me...I DONT CANCEL SESSIONS!!! thats what people who dont want to REcover do and I WANT TO RECOVER... I mean I have lots of logical reasons I needed to cancel, Like I dont have a sitter...I forgot M is working durning the day this week and I waited to long to ask his dad to watch the kids so I as out of luck there...and my mom has to work so NO GO THERE... and ofcourse there is the whole shower issue which by the way I HAVE TO DO TODAY...regaurdless of whether or not I see S.
I am taking the kids to the park today...oh look whos getting off the subject... here I go avoiding...seriously I know I am going to get a good tougue lashing from you guys but really I just couldnt do it today...I cant deal with issues you today, I dont want to talk about anything that matters today...all she would hear is that I am to fat and what a waste of a session that would be...I would be wasteing her time and mine and what would the point of that be..now really guys... lets be serious shall we...its not like none of you havent done it before...so come on dont judge me...maybe I just needed a T break just for a teensy while..I ll see her friday I swears...I just cant face the world today.
On a good note which is how I like to end...followed my food plan yesterday...and continued my three day purge free streak...today will be day 4...
crap maybe I shouldnt have cancelled
to late now