Okay I know its a process...I know I know TRUST THE PROCESS..my new mantra...dont get your shorts in a tizzy I am still following my mantra...NO WORRIES!!! I swears:)
But really did anyone ever telll you RECOVERY is boreing...you do the same thing day in and day out.
You wake up
YOu do chores
and you wake up just to do the same thing over again.
you eat and dont purge
and you eat
you attend appointments
You do the RIGHT things
and you know what
you do it again and they say eventually you do it with out thinking
and then what
you do it again and again
and you know what RECOVERY IS BOREING!!!!
Its not exciting..Im not breaking any rules
Im not living on the edge
Im not being.....ME
Who am I anyway??
I mean really if I am not ED who the hell am I?
okay okay this can not be a be a negative screw REcovery post and it s not I swears, but its a question for reals WHO AM I??
I m bored
I am used to living on the edge...defying nature...living on the edge of death and now I am normal..sorta....
How does one fill ones life without ED leading it??
I finished dinner only to be left to sit with it...no purging ...just sitting...If I wasnt so fat I wwould take to running the streets naked//:) but really does this get better...is recovery easier after a bit...does it always feel so mundane ... so repeative...SO SAD
cause I think that is what has setteled in...boreing, pathetic...SADNESS
yes I am fat
but Iam in Recovery
and I am sad I cant lose wieght
so here we go folks...I am in Recovery ..Rinse. Lather. Rinse...Repeat