Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Must gather myself

okay I am kinda off the balance beam right now...

Shaking as you will. cant quite gather my thoughts to even type correctly but I am here to try and collect myself to focus on living my life and getting on track with the things I NEED to do today. I need to clean my Kitchen floor, I dont NEED to but I want to cause if I wait til tomorrow it will be gross so thats next on my list, or should I say first on my list casue all I have done today is the dishes.

geez if I could just stop shaking I think I would be good...what is my problem??

I thought it was cause I didnt have any smokes but I got some so we should be good on that front...I ate breakfast..late...quite a bit late..well just now which is lunch time but at least I ate right??

okay so what shall I do??

Clean Kitchen

clean bathroom

take shower

clean living room

do laundry

take kids to beach

I WILL accompli

well I will acomplish all these things on my list or I will be a failure for the day...well thats kinda black and white but really I wont feel right unless I do it all...ALLLLLLL!!!

ohhh and Lisa I wrote a list of meds if you wnat to check it out...couple posts down...Love you all...wish me luck

Love, Z


PTC said...

totally incorrect thinking.

Did I know you smoked??

Zena said...

No one probally knew I smoked..Did I just let the cat out of the bag??? I keep it my little secret... I smoke outdoors, away from my kids only..Z man has asthma and I think I am going to quit on his Birtday!!! which would july 31st. I got allot accomplished in the last hour, kitchen cleaned, bathroom cleaned, living room cleaned, loas of laundry done...I really need to take a shower but I keep avoiding

Okay a little thought challange for me..It doenst ALL have to be done to go to the beach?? Right?? okay so I will clean the bedroom ( new to my list) and then shower and then beach...The kids need to and deserve to have some fun...I mean it is only 1:30 :)

Love, Z

firefly said...

Umm the thing that should be on the top of your list is eat breakfast:List it so you can check things off. I'm a big one for crossing things off. If you have to write what you eat and send it to K. This will keep you on track. Yes, you are not expected to be perfect with your meal plan but it seemed like you were totally blowing it off and aren't going to make up for it. You were still down lunch. I'm only saying this because being shakey is a sign you need to eat more. Listen to your body. What is it trying to tell you?I know you can do this you just need encouragement and accountability. Hang in there.

PTC said...


Zena said...

horrah for me!!1 I did it all and the day turned around..for the most part!! I got to watch the kids splish and splash in the lake which was fun, and ofcourse Isaiah thinks hes a big boy so i had to stay with him like white on rice cause he kept drifting his small little body over to the deeper water...poor little guy he is wishing his life away..wanting to be older that is... I have a new post in the makeing..about living without the ummmm well I dont know how to put it yet, youll find out soon enoughand it will get a shout out to a certain reader who made me think{Britni}

Love, Z

Flushed said...

Good Luck :)

P.S. I'm gonna try and do that list. Thank you for all your suggestions and comments they are very helpful.
Sometime my ED gets mad at you but my spirit loves it! Again, thank you.

lisalisa said...

Yess! So glad you turned things around! Did you ever figure out what was making you shake? That's kind of scary. DO you think it was the new meds? Or lack of food? Don't put off meals; its a slippery slope. But you know that! I'm glad you got out and had fun with your kids :)

lisalisa said...

thanks for the list of meds! I have been on all or those and really like lexapro, unfortunately it quit working for me eventually and now I take pristiq. Do you think the lamictal helps? I'm looking for a new mood stabalizer since i can't take Topamax anymore. Sometimes i, too, worry about being on too many meds but then I think hey, it beats being horriblyy unstable all the time!

Telstaar said...

Yay! Well done!!!

And you know what? It would have been okay if you hadn't got through everything (except eating, you HAVE to do that bit), but you did get through it all inspite of feeling like crap! You're a champ :D

*mwah* said...

I'm glad you had a good day, Z! Did you eat well too?

Zena said...

I will be writting another post but yes I did eat well...too probally gained another pound or two as my metabilism is shot but as i have said..its not about the food or wieght well maybe i didnt say it but I have been trying to think it..nnot going so well but trying.

Love, Z