Saturday, March 21, 2009

ummmm

I am scared

I dont feel good

I took my potasium and I think its making me sick I feel like I am going to throw up...not on purpose...

I am suppossed to eat with it but I cant or wont or whatever

Fuck

I feel lousy

S emailed me and said I should most definately be admitted on monday or tuesday...depending on labs...god I feel crappy

anyone there to chat

love, Z

6 comments:

Telstaar said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you're feeling so awful. It seems to me like Monday is a long time away for you right now. *huggles* I wish I could wave and make it all better for you. Keep holding on and fighting hunni xoxo

Zena said...

thanks,
telstaar

I am trying to hold I just feel so SHITTY...but I have to wait til monday without my doc thier they will just let me starve i mean they wont force me to eat...and DR. A would threaten a tube...so if I wait til monday I have a better shot of eating real food..blahhhh...I knwo Im not making any sense...I need some water, me thinks

and the KIDS WONT STOP FIGHTING!!!!~
love, Z

Telstaar said...

You're making sense, you're just talking about medium term its better if you wait because the outcomes are better overall, even though shorter term it might be better now...but essentially your goals won't be me.

You can do it hunni, one step at a time. Seriously, sometimes minute by minute.

I need to go to sleep but I will be praying hunni xoxox

PTC said...

I don't know what to do for you, Z. You need to eat something with your pills so you don't feel sick. Honestly, a week in the hospital isn't going to do you any good because you'll just go home and start starving and puking again. You need months of treatment.

Zena said...

I am making a lean cuisene right now...but I feel like I am going to "throw" if you know what I mean

Z

Jena said...

You have the strength in you, hun... time to pull it out and use it.

And use the box you made too, if you have it.

But seriously, you were doing so well, so determined and full of willpower. I believe in you. I believe you'll get through it. One choice at a time. I know I make it sound easy, but I do understand. I know it's not easy and you feel out of control, but maybe you can find some things to resist and some things to supplement... you know? Determination hunny!