Tuesday, April 27, 2010

what to do // WHAT TO DO?

Its early so I dont feel like going through the whole explanation of the K appointment ...(for new followers K is my Dietitian)so just go back and read "stupid post" from yesterday morning...

anyway I need to make a decision THE RIGHT preferably...


okay Im going to try to follow MP that I have had since day 3 of refeeding, yesterday was kinda messy but I am going to MAKE myself take a time out to eat even if Im busy...I hate stopping in the middle of things...I have my alarm set on my phone to "remind" me so Im just going to eat when it goes off. wish me luck on that one :)

amyway I was thinking Mike was to be 40 September 13th of this year and I want to have like a big memorial/celebration of his life, Im going to talk, play some of his favorite music, talk about what he had wanted to accomplish in his life, show a photo slide show...and NOT feel horriable thats hes dead but celebrate the life he had here on earth and take joy in the fact that he has eternity with our Lord, and that one day we will all be together and we will have the rest of eternity to be with each, with no pain, no sickness,no anger, no alcoholism and no eating disorder, Im crying now but its okay cause I know that forever is a long time and no of us know what tomorrow or even today will bring for that matter....anyway after the inside celebration of his life I want to buy as many sky blue ballons (his favorite color) (Thanks Brie for the idea) and have everyone attach a small not to each ballon, or maybe write on it something they want to tell him, maybe something they never got a chance to...I know I have things to write...then we will all let are ballons go. We will watch then acend to heaven and take joy in the fact that I know he will be watching and waiting for those ballons(and the notes attached)to reach him, I know he will watching, smiling down knowing how much he was loved....I miss him guys, I miss him allot, what I wouldnt give to hear him say "the fact of the matter is..." gosh he said that ALL the time...

anyway I got get the kids on the bus...so do you think its a good idea, if you have any other suggestions as to what else I could do...feel free to let me know, I want this day to be special, I know there will be tears of sadness but I pray there will also be tears of peace and joy knowing our Boy is resting peacefully in the arms of our Lord.

okay really gotta go

Love always, Tara


belinda said...

i LOVE LOVE LOVE the balloon idea. i'm actually going to do this for the 1yr anniversary for Daniel (but red, for love).

i think it is brilliant that you are going to make his birthday a celebration :)

and as for the MP, just do it hon, fuck the anxiety, it simply must be done (so easy to say.. but it is doable!)

love you. Xx

Jennifer said...

I think its a truly beautiful idea.

It can be so precious and meaningful and not JUST sad and devastating.
It will be wonderful.

I think you are incredibly brave.

Much love and care.
Jennifer xx