Sunday, April 11, 2010

no title...

I really dont think I can do this...

It hurts to much...

The pain...the grief...the Guilt...the shame...

The unanswered questions...

every minute hurts worse then the last...

it hurts to breath...to sit...to look ...

The nightmares....Fuck the day mares (is that even a thing??)

This is permanent .... its never going away...

This act he did ...its forever...

Did he know he couldnt take it back??

I just want to fucking smash everything...

and now he has left me here to do this alone...

My heart literally aches...Im sick to my stomach...and want to just seep into a wall and disappear...

SOME ONE FUCKING WAKE ME UP!!!

THIS IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!!!

in complete despair,

Tara

5 comments:

Angela E. Gambrel Lackey said...

I'm so sorry. All I can offer is love and hugs from an unknown person. I wish I could do more.

{{{Hugs}}}

lisalisa said...

I am worried about you! I am glad you are blogging about this still! Are you sticking close to your treatment team? Please dont be alone durring thi time. Hugs!!!

Eating Alone said...

Yes it is forever. Remember that suicide is a permanent thing.

Hugs.

♥ Cinderella ♥ said...

dear tara/zena (dont know which to call you sorry!)

im so sorry to hear about your husband. for me its been three of my closest friends...

my thoughts and prayers are with you... i know this can be such an awful and tough time.

love, Leisha/Cinderella ♥

firefly said...

Tara, I know this is killing you! I'm so sorry and I wish I could take away all the pain. Remember the song I sent you. It's like a theme song. I'm cheering for you one step at a time. Hugs!