Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Tell it like it is , S.

" Your anxiety and depression have reached all time highs because you dont eat, you cant use the excuse I cant eat bcause Im to anxious, because you are anxious ( to some extent) because you dont eat, this is insane, you come in, you cry, you try to avoid the truths, but the truth is until you step out of your box you will stay sick, you will continue to feel horriable, you will continue to want to take your own life, you will continue to stay stuck deep into the dark hole. You dont look well, you hurt, physically and emotional, your meds arent working, and you WILL end up in the hospital, if you dont withstand the short term INCREASED anxiety that eating will bring you, you have us to lean on, to talk you through it, to call, text, email, this isnt an "okay, I will try tomorrow thing" this is a now thing, YOU HAVE THE POWER, you need not stay a victim any longer, you are safe now, in pain yes, but safe, no more BS, do what you know you have to, and email me that you have done when your finished.

SHIZ

I told her a renfrew story about when I broke down at the dinner table a girl whispered in my ear, "just tell your burito its your bitch and your going to eat it"

S's last words, go to your mothers, look at your plate and say..."your my BITCH and Im going to eat you"

She thought it was hilarious, and was still laughing as I left, shaken from her sterness but feeling loved by her care...I went home and ATE MY BITCH!!!

with the help of my friend clonipin, and a good book as a distraction, That Bitch got ate!

Love, Tara

6 comments:

In the Pink said...

Awesome!!! My God I didn't realize how happy it would make me to hear you take control of your meal time. Keep it up, I feel so proud of you!

Angela E. Gambrel Lackey said...

I'm so glad to hear this. You do have the control, you know. The power to heal is inside you.

*Hugs*

Angela

lisalisa said...

good job!

S really is right. I have been reading some books about nutrition and mental illness and it is amazing the impact that food has on our mental health. For instance, I learned that I need to eat more protien because there are amino acids that are neccessary for seratonin production and your body cant make the seratonin it needs (to help anxiety and depression) without them. Like, it is impossible to feel good if you aren't eating. I guess food really is medicine (although I hate it when they say that; it's corny as hell).

Lisa said...

I LOVE IT!!! that's so great to hear. Also
I don't think you're on my list of invite to my blog- it's private. I'd love to stay in contact, can you email me your email at guo791999@gmail.com?

once again, kudos on beating the bitch :)

xoxo
-Lisa

Zena said...

you are was 2 boosts and a salad with grilled chicken, almost 1000 cal, I know its not enough but it over double what I have been eating, and only 50 cal came from coffee, ofcouse now its now 4:30 am and I cant sleep cause the anxiety from yesterday and what I need to do today is killing me, but I really want to STOP this relaspe before I have to go to hospital to do so...

much love, Tara
much

Zena said...

Lisa, Tried to email you for an invite, mail came back that I had the wrong address, could you check and see if you wrote it right or just email me at mackeytara6@gmail.com

Thanks