thing s suck the big one I am trying but you know they suck knobby knobs balls...I am on a break from cleaning and I thought I would blog about my suckiness. so far a yogurt and it 1:25pm...okay so things are not okay and I suck good thing is no purging yet today..and I am having dinner with the mom figure.
I just want to go back to sleep
help guys I feel like shit
Z
9 comments:
ok..
can we feel together?
whats going on? why are things so sucky? feel like talking about the suckiness?
i understand the sleep factor, such a perfect escape.. but it's not really, it just seems that way. i did it yesterday, i kept just falling asleep for hours. it didn't improve my suckiness though.
anyhoo..
talk to us honey!
X
Hey sweet B,
I cleanedmy house and I am manic..typing so fast.
the suckinest factor comes in where they didnt think I was ready to leave IOP, but I had to cause I had no childcare
I either restrict or BP..not a good thing...I did have a small breakfast and an okay lunch so I am trying to get back on track its just hard so freaking hard.
I have going out to dinner with mom and the kids tonight cause M has to work. Hes been working allot which is why I have been purging allot cause hes not here at night...and night is my worst time..i always feel so out of control...
what are you feeling my sweet love..talk to me
love, Z
what is REALLY bothering you?? That's the question.
what is REALLY bothering me...Im fat..no I am nervous about seeing S again...she was so strict in her last email to me I am afraid if I fuck she will fire me...although I know K wont, in fact she will fight for me I am still VERY scared
Z
((((Zena)))))
I'm glad you realized WHAT the REAL issue is here. You are not fat. You are very, very eating disordered.
I wish you could go IP for 3 months.
me too
Z: I could tell that they would think you aren't ready to leave the partial program. You really need to tell M that you need him at home at night. Restricting is not o.k. either. You are still pretty into your ed. Get him out of your head. Fire him. lol You deserve a life w/o ed.
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