Thursday, August 12, 2010

I cant even think to write...

Guys, Im so broken

I dont even know where to begin...

My sisters one whom is getting married in a huge hoopla wedding in 2.5 weeks and the other who just graduated law scholl are not speaking. I cant even describe to you all the reasons why, they both have reasons...but...its soooo heartbreaking.

law school sister is refusing to be in wedding

wedding sister says if she isnt in the weddingand happy about it law sister is cut out of her life for ever

law school sister says she hates wedding sister and wants her out of her life anyway...

and well

my kids are seeing all of this

They have seen so much and lost so much in thier young lives and now for the only 2 aunts who see them to be at war, its very very upsetting.

and for my sisters not to see that life is to short for such hatered (and that it what it is, this is not some fight, they have both used the words hate and lifetime in the same sentence) its really aweful, and its breaking me even more then I already am...im at a lose, I dont know what to do or say anymore, niether of them can see past thier own noses and its so so sad.

I am moving in 9 days the wedding is in 16, 1 month from tomorrow would have been Mikes 40th birthday, 1 month and 6 days from now will be the 6 month aniversary of his death and 1 month and 9 days from now would have been our 8th wedding anniversary...if I make it through the next 6 weeks it will prove I can do anything...but right now I dont know how I m going to make it...

my heart feels shattered

sigh

please dear GOD let my sisters work this out...

Love, Tara

7 comments:

sarahlynn said...

Sending you *MASSIVE HUGS* - you can get through this. You'll get through this, and everything to come. I know you will.
I really do think your sister's will work it out. From what I understand, weddings are extremely stressful events... that on top of whatever they've got going on personally... but I think they'll work it out. Most of the time anger isn't stronger than sisterhood.
I'm thinking of you... anniversaries are heavy big deals, esp. in that first year. Just... let yourself feel whatever comes and ride it out until it passes.
*notherhug*
Be safe.

lisalisa said...

I cant think of any good words of wisdom right now because it seems my brain has turned to mush. I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and sending you hugs and prayers...

XO Lisa

zubeldia said...

Oh sweety, My guess is that it will work out. I have 3 sisters and at different intervals we have had fallings out.. some for a long time. Now we are older and wiser and things are very different, WE are very different. In terms of your kids I would perhaps explain that just like kids, adults can have disagreements, too; indeed adult siblings can be silly and stupid...

Lots of love,
Z

Tiger said...

*hugs* : ( i'm sorry for the family drama.

Angela Elain Gambrel said...

I'm so sorry. This is probably the last thing you need to be dealing with right now. Please don't let this hurt you - it is between them, even though I know they are your sisters and you love them.

I wish I knew what else to say. I will be praying for you.

{{{{Lots of hugs}}}

Angela

kris said...

It sounds awful to be stuck in middle of such a fight! My guess is that law school sister has just finished with YEARS of stress caused by law school, and wedding sister is under the obvious stress of the wedding. Although it doesn't sound like wedding sister will be stress-free until the wedding is over, maybe she will calm down a bit as more and more wedding things get taken care of/set in stone and maybe the other sister will relax more too. I guess, in some ways, maybe you can make a good example of this to your kids by pointing out things like "Gee isn't it nice that you two really get along/love each other/share... something like that."

I'll be thinking of you and wishing you much strength to deal in this tough time and the tough times associated with your approaching anniversaries. Maybe moving somewhere new around this time will make it a tiny bit easier to deal.

((hugs))

Zena said...

Thankyou all for your support...right now with everything im just barely holding on...(ED okay) ANXIETY NOT!!! and to top it off my inlaws showed up at my house ( mine and mikes) while the contractors were there with like 4 other people with them, let themselves in, were rude and stalked my house for over an hour, all the while refusing to talk to my contractors who were quite upset as they are responsible for my house right now....I now need to change locks, deal with them and my step son, whom I just recieved a 400 dollar medical bill for ( im insuring as a favor, he is 19 and doesnt work or go to school...but...now I feel screwed, used and taken advantage of....this is after he took the 40 thousand I gave him and now pretty much ignores the kids and I) seriously M's family is and has always been f'cked...why I thought now would be any different is beyond me...

anyway thankyou loves, thankyou so much