I am moving.
I have contractors at MY house.
I have to buy all new shit as I got rid of all of Mikes and my stuff.
My sister is getting married in 4 weeks.
I am in the wedding.
I feel like a balloned elephant.
I had to try my dress on this morning as I have a fitting today...(I have avoided this due to the fact that I have gained since I bought it 5 months ago)
It just fits.
If I gain a pound it will not (well it will make me very uncomfortable)
Im under super stress, and to boot I look like a hungry hippo...
Im very sorry as I seem to be a dissapointment to all lately ( my mother as made it very well known to me how I am completely inept)
I might as well do what I do best...Come on Anorexia here I come...
Hey If I m gonna feel like shit regaurdless THEN I would rather feel like shit and be thin then shit and fat.
yes I should be past this all by now.
but Im not
just add it to the list of failures your keeping (mom)
I was fucking stupid for ever even thinking that I could do it...that I deserved it...
FUCK IT ALL.
right this moment...
I feel completely unhinged
good, I should be hungry, I look at myself and want to vomit.
well there I said it.
and seriously if that freaking chick (tenny21 something) makes some nasty comment on how this makes me a shit mother, I might just totally fucking ape shit.
Right now this is my reality, ,my truth, my blog....no point in lying.
now I must go shower and try not to gag.
yep todays gonna be great:(