I am wanting so bad to go back to AN...its more acccepted then bulimia..why??
I know I know i am in Recovery but the thoughts are still there...
I talked to K last night and she was like have you ever heard of BDD (body dismorphic disorder)...yeah but thats not me i really am fat...NO she said you are distorted!!
I have fallen back into a restrictive pattern...maybe its cause my lack of prozac...reminder to self GET FILLED!!!
I have such an urge to restrict its sickening...I not by the way but the urge is so strong...i dont know how much longer I can hold out.Sigh..:(
I am back to counting everything and staying just under my MP...which we all know where that leads and I am so sick of throwing up..Im done with it...so done.
which brings me back to my orginal question why is AN considered by society and most Ed'ed people acceptable and bulmia is considered gross..I mean its all disordered, I guess I just feel AN is about having control and Bulmia is about a lack of control...ugh
Someone challange these thoughts cause they are driving me batty