the anxiety and depression is killing me and i will explain to why i am sucking so bad in a minute but first i need to scream or cry or throw a massive tantrum cause all this pain is more then i can bare. Things are so stressful in my house right now, i was up all night with the Zack man as he had a bad asthma attack cause he was outside while Mike was cutting the grass, yeah so i come back from run all thinking that thngs have got to get better then they are and I instead come back to a hacking child...So anyway we were up all night and when we finally got to the doc around 11 this morning his o2 was at 93% not great for a kid, the doc seemed pretty worried and gave him another nebulizer tx...it didnt work so he gave him some steroids...and now my little man has to be on steroids for the next 7-10 days, i hate him being on meds like that, it freaks me out. So we get home and I am exhausted..and we lay on the couch and I cant get up..i am emotionally beat down with all the shit that s been happening..oh did I mention Alyssa was late for school cause we were up all night..yeah so thats one missed day and one late in one week not good especially cause she is struggeling.
Anyway SO we are claiming BANKRUPTCY!!! yep thats right we are 30 Gs in debt to creditors and we cant pay the bills and the lawyer said we had no other option...so that s a bit stressful. My mother is pissed about it she says it will ruin us forever but we think its better then losing our house so thats what we are doing...I know I know it sucks but I dont want to hear another word about how we suck with money...I KNOW WE SUCK WITH MONEY..I get It, I know stop telling me already(((MOM))).
and of course its all my fault cause I spent all this money durning a manic phase like a year ago and we cant seem to dig out...so yeah its all my fault like everything else.
Mike told me he ummmm well cheated me and then he took it back...he said he was trying to get back at me but needless to say its been causeing me some great stress..I think he didnt do it but well then again..i dont know I guess he didnt do it...It just sucks casue now I dont trust him and am afraid of him actually doing it..WTF...WTF...
and then of course there is the Ed which is getting worse and worse I lost another 3 pounds...and I get wieghed again on monday and Ed is telling me I need to be lower again...I wanted An back so bad and I get I got my wish...great one more battle to fight...so yeah it was the worst of times and is the worst of times...
Oh and what is with the thispo AD on my blog google sucks