so those are the words dear K said to me yesterday. she means get your feet ready and push off the bottom cause the only way from here is up. Wise words. I feel like my feet are stuck, like someone, dont know who glued them to the floor and I cant push off.
fuckerdy fuck...this got really hard, like I knew it would, I am staving off the purging demon with every meal I take. Im fustrated cause my body image sucks!!! my IP T said I might be one of those people who NEVER get the body image piece...whoa...bummer for me, not the news I wanted to hear....SO folks here I am trying to push off the bottom with my supports just falling by the wayside. what do I mean you ask well its bad enough I cant see S while in PHP but they brought it up in team, as to why I still see K when I have a N up in program..they want me to NOT see her while I am in thier program...WTF, Im not allowed Xtra support.
yeah yeah I get why they dont want me to see her...conflicting MP s and all but she sticks to the same plan as them the same 2000 calories...the same no holds bar foods she is just UBBER suportive of me, calls me to give extra support when needed, allows me to call her for MT support or when I feel like I am going to purge, she just so delectably wonderful that I cried when I called her yesterday to tell her and to seek her oppinion. SHe said it should be my choice and that she no way wants to infringe on my tx in php but she also said she wouldnt take the decision out of my hands...she would leave it up to me and let me make up my own mind.
For fucks sake I NEED her support!!!
I am so bumming right now...so here I am tring to plant off and push and damit someone glued my feet to the floor...now who would go and do a thing like that...oh I can tell you who is name is ED and hes a pisser I tell you, he pisses on me, pisses me off, gets my dame feet wet, after hes glued them to the floor and let me tell you that can put a girl in a real foul mood!!!
SO whats a pissed on , pissed off, wet footed, super glued to the floor girl supposed to do?? well I guess I need to take off my shoes.. (novel Idea) and jump... out the ED wagon...dry off and plant and push off.
now if I could just figure out how to get the knot out of my laces...