Monday, March 22, 2010

please...

dear jesus bring him back, fix him, fix his body, mind and soul.

mike, I scream to the heavens so you can here me...remember the time we went away for our anniversary, and we laughed and ate and went horseback riding and walked in that beautiful park, (You hated the walk, but said it was worth it because you were with me :)) we held hands and kissed, they made us where helmets and you joked they wouldnt be able to find one to fit your head. We shopped and loved...we were at peace.

remember when our baby girl was born, and you held her for the first time, remember your joy, how proud you were of her of me of us!

YOU named her...she will always be your baby.

remember when you finished our house, how proud you were? you built it for a year with your sweat and your hands, every nail in that house was put there by you, and you did it for us, so we could have a home.

do you remember how great of a father you were to our children while i was away, do you remember family week? and you played me that song by Craig Morgan, "and I thought I was tough"...remember when you arrived and you jumped out of the car and i ran to you, and hugged you like i have never hugged another human soul? we were the only ones there or so it seemed.

You would wrap your arms around me and swallow me in them, see mike i remember the good, i will forget all the bad...you promised me on our wedding day, you would be with me til we died...you kept your word, it just didnt have to be so soon.

I cant bare the thought of putting you in the ground, i want to see you float up to heaven to be with our lord.

We will never forget you, we (i) will love you forever, you didnt have to do this to make me see...I KNOW you loved me, i will never forget...please watch over us, tell god to help us through, you can still take care of us, please dont really leave me (us).

I hope you are finally at peace, but really i can not believe you are gone...just hold me one more time...what were my last words to you, were they harsh, i cant remember, i pray they werent i pray you know that anything cruel i ever said was said out of anger...mike I loved you, my heart always will, you gave me 3 beautiful children, pieces of you...i will treasure them, i will always take care of them, i will keep them safe, you dont have to worry, they will always hear how much you loved them, i will never let them forget. YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!!!!!!!!!!!

10 comments:

Telstaar said...

Oh Tara... I am beyond words....

*such gentle gentle cuddles*

now.is.now said...

Tara, I am so sorry. Know that I am thinking of you so much. Please take care of yourself.

Angela Elain Gambrel said...

I'm so sorry.

firefly said...

I'm beyond words I've got some memories too. Remember that night I was driving all over town and Mike was like come live with us? You right he did give you your children and that is priceless. Hang in there!

Zena said...

sarah,

that was funny...he was serious...at least til he sobered up...although he did say you wouldnt cost us much in the food area :)

see you tomorrow..thankyou for comeing

firefly said...

Hey Tara, Please keep moving forward. I love you so much it makes me so sad to see you hurting like this. I LOVE YOU!

Marilla said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

firefly said...

Hey Tara:Did you have a new entry because this is the one that is showing up last? Darling I know how sad you are. It's o.k. to let it out. Please try not to let the depression get the best of you. Remember that eating will help with the moods and keep you thinking properly. I know it's the hardest thing to do right now. Reminds me of the Indigo Girls song"the hardest to do was this least complicated. Do you think you can enjoy Alyssa's party tomorrow? Love you!

firefly said...

I'm not forgetting you. Wish I could have stayed longer to help with the kids. Call you tonight!

belinda said...

thinking of you each day
love you heaps
i hope u are looking after YOU during this, i know it's so hard.

big love honey.x