Sunday, March 21, 2010

Dear Mike,

Im so sorry. I loved you. I promise I will remember the good and not the bad. I will tell the children everyday how much you loved them. I love you, Im so sorry, Please Mike forgive me...Please tell me you are okay...please please come back. I cant bare to put you in the ground. I cant do this without you, they need 2 parents, They need you. I keep thinking you just went on a trip, that you will come back, its okay please come back, i will try, I will ....do anything...please im sorry, what more do you need i will do anything, you must have been so scared, there were spiders there, you must have been so afraid. why did you do this? there had to have been another way...you were getting help...why didnt they help you?? Please Mike Please ...Im sorry sorry..my tears feel like your blood...its on my hands...it wont go away...please mike just come back.

4 comments:

Eating Alone said...

It's ok, cry and let it out. Remember him and the good times. Let his children know about him. It's ok to cry.

Cyber Hug.

firefly said...

Checking in on you. Please Tara, It's not your fault. Even the Professionals didn't see this. You couldn't have known. I love you and the kids. Just let it out and I will be hear to listen.

Alexandra Rising said...

Tara-
You did nothing wrong. If a person is going to follow through with suicide it goes a lot deeper than current life circumstances. You must not blame yourself. It is not your fault.
Certainly grieve, but please, please, please now that you did nothing wrong.

belinda said...

this breaks my heart.
you couldn't stop this hon, this was his choice. it's horrid, the pain that is left behind & how it shatters the lives of survivors.

let yourself cry, your feelings are valid. write letters to him if it helps you (i have done heaps!)

if it helps, i like to think Mike is hanging out with Daniel. together they can now rest. and you, my love will survive this, with me, your family, your church and friends.

here for you always
sending so much love your way.
Xx