Has anyone noticed that for a while all i have posted are silly pics f me and la famila ??? well if you did (3 points for you) and if you thought it bit strange that like i have nothing to say with all i have going on...( like divorce, an E.D, crazy living situation then you get 5 points) cause really i havent written anything of substance cause well i live in a world called D-E-N-I-A-L!!! its a fun place to be where you dont have to admitt anythings wrong.
guess what folks....im a con artist!!!
and a good one at that...oh i pull out bits and pieces like increased mp and doing okay with it....call it ....im a LIAR!!!!
Im not okay!!
my body is not happy (15 yrs of starving and purging) makes said body NOT happy!!
So here are the facts...i have remained out of hospital for 9 months and 6 days (sad how i count) not due to the fact that i am doing spectacular but to the fact that i plain out told my tx team i will leave tx if they try and force me into any hospital...so here i am...one day following mp (which although i whine about it, its really low like even for some obese person on a diet) and the next i ummmm dont i go back and forth and even when i do follow it i still lose wieght (cause like i said its a obese persond diet mp) hey they are trying to get me to just eat!
havent purged in 6 plus months..but does that count if your not really eating???
anyway im coming out of my river of denial (at least to you guys) and am sending out an SOS..im sinking. my labs are a mess like im waiting for a call from the good doc to tell me if more K and mag pills will fix me ( so my legs stop feeling like someone tied them in knots) or if its off to get a drip of that urning nasty shit they put in you so your heart doest give out.
the f-ing insurance company cut my visits with S to once a week...she wanted to keep appealing but i told her NO! why?? cause maybe i feel like quiting anyway so why have her go through the work...sigh...
okay so heres what i need...gentle loving ass kicks...on my bum but not to hard cause even my bum muscles hurt...
Tjis nuttiness needs to stop PRONTO!! Alyssa is 7...that means shes watched her mom starve (purge) herself into numbness for ummm 7 years...7 years to many...am i a good fod role modle ...NOOOOOOO....do i need to be....YEEEESSSSSS!!!
get out of the river tara....fight at least a little...and for goodness sake just be real.
okay i gotta go...cause sis is taking computer...but really like for real guys im asking for help...havent done that for a while so you could muster up any support you got (I know a lot of you are struggeling right now...but at least your honost abut it) so im joining the honesty club...sending out a signal...and asking for help...i know i have een a bad blogger friend ut i ll be etter i promise...and i promise to be honost...i swears
love you all