Monday, March 15, 2010

"Journey to Hope'

There is this conference in NYC this saturday...my doc invited me to go...dr judith rabner (author of "a starving madness") is the key note speaker, there are things that would be a benefit to me as well like body image class, some groups about why its so hard to recover...and why its so worth it...then there is lunch from 1-2 thats reason 1 i dont want to go...lunch with ED doc ='s scary as shit...reason 2 it costs 125 dollars (im broke ) both my mom and my doc said they would help with the fee...reason 3 i dont like to travel in any transportation system that I dont have control over...plane train..etc...cars or foot thats it for me...I should go...I really need to go...but once again I am letting fear rule my life...I need to deciede by 4 today if I am going...what should I do?? stay stuck and live in fear or go see one of my favorite authors speak?

I know the answer seems clear but not to me.

Its at the Light house conference center on 59th street...anyone know where that is ? any one want to go? i know some of you live in that area?

oh and no i didnt kill myself last night...but i did take too many of a certain barbibtiute and am no longer allowed to have it in my possesion... one more thing i am no longer in control of :(

oh yeah i am back to square 1 on my mp, not eating for 3 days and no water for 8 does that to you i guess...plus k is calling doc A...apparently 7 weeks is to long to go with out medical intervention...oh yeah and the H word is being tossed around like a beach ball...pissed off much yes...they will literally have to have me civiclly committed...i dont think they will go that route, but one can never be to sure :(

someone seriously stop the ride... i want to get off

7 comments:

Eating Alone said...

GO. Take the help that they are offering and go. I was so scared about going the NEDA thing but it all worked out. It was just really funny when the lunch table was introducing themselves Dr. this or that, RD, Director - me ummm patient? EAK! But it was really cool. No one said your not eating enough or you need to not eat more. No judging at all. A lot of support.

Please go! I would love to go but I'm stuck down here in South FL. Darn weather 76 degrees, and clear and sunny.

What is the H word? I can see that this in the word verification - hyper ; that so fits.

Zena said...

The H word is hospital...i just came down to check my email...to look at the conference info...im thinking....

lisalisa said...

I vote go! you will never know if something you hear there will change your life if you don't go. Look at it as "you" time.

Zena said...

Im going!!!


ekkkk

I just registered....got my amtrack tickets...I leave Albany at 6 am and arrive in NYC at 8:35 am conference starts at 10...end at 5:15...my train back is at 7:15 pm...a whole day without M or the kids, listening to people whose purpse in life is to help people recover...and listening to actuall RECOVERED INDIVIDUALES!!!!

Seriously I cant believe I am actually going ALONE!!

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other news...food

intake today thus far

1 tall triple nonfat latte


1 slice turkey


dinner hasnt happened yet but will be yogurt, 1/3 cup granola 3/4 cup sliced strawerries...

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maybe this conference will give me some inspiration...lets hope...pray

firefly said...

Tara: Sounds like this will be good for you. Enjoy the day without the kids. I wanted to go to the Meda conf but way to expensive.
Eating Alone: I wish it were sunny and 76 here.

belinda said...

good girl!
i knew you'd do the right thing ;)

x

now.is.now said...

OH YAY I'm so glad you were going! I didn't read this post until way too late... but I knew all along you'd end up making the right choice :)

now... get to that meal plan, missy!