Saturday, August 8, 2009

Support needed...floundering


yesterday was a bad day very restrictive...Ill spare you the details......just know some encouraging words would be appreciated...thats it..jsut need some loving today...

oh and this is me...fat and all..it may not stay up long..but I fired i should put a face to teh name..

Love, Tara

6 comments:

firefly said...

Sorry yesterday wasn't good. Did you e-mail K to get back into it? I'm guessing that is your baby yet he is growing so fast. Take care!

now.is.now said...

You are BEAUTIFUL (and not "fat" whatsoever). And your baby is adorable :)

I feel like you might not take advice from me very seriously right now - lol - given that the advice you need you're currently giving me :)

I know that neither you nor I want to end up in the place where restriction leads (small world, bingeing, sleep eating, no energy, continued exercise restriction/return to exercise restriction). I also know that normal eating doesn't lead to failure or fatness or anything. I also know that we have made the same mistakes repeatedly in the past (gone back to restricing only to...... yeah, you know the end of that sentence and you don't want to do that again and neither do I)

This time you have committed, remember? Committed to recovery! That means you have to do things you don't want to do - and the process says don't restrict today. The process says talk kindly to yourself and dont make "food deals" with yourself. I know, I suppose I need the same advice right now.

I just finished breakfast - maybe that'll help me think more clearly and I can give you better inspiration.

I'm not "fired up" behind what I just wrote, but I also know it's the truth. I don't FEEL like eating (either do you), but I KNOW it's the only right thing to do. I know not eating or eating less is NEVER the answer.... so....

how about... together.... we go with what we KNOW today and not with what we feel. In the end, we'll thank ourselves for it!

Lots of love,
Laura

p.s.: you always say you'll believe in me no matter what and I always really appreciate that. Same goes to you - I always will believe in you even if you slip or are slipping or have a lapse of judgement. I know this is "your time," Tara.

p.p.s: your picture inspired me to consider putting a picture of myself too...

lisalisa said...

I loooove that you put a picture up so we can put face to name, and no of course you are not at all fat, just very lovely! And your little one is sooo cute!
There must be something in the air cause I too am struggling with the restricctive mindset and so are some others. It's so hard, there is almost a seductive quality to the AN, but we must resist at all costs! Remember, this is a battle FOR YOUR LIFE! Think of yourself as a revolutionary, in search of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness! ED isn't about to let you have any of that. ED wants you stuck, alone, miserable, and dying. Sorry to be so deppressing, but there it is.
Z, you are so important to so many people! I just wish you could see yourself the way we see you and give yourself the tender loving care you deserve!

Eating Alone said...

Listen to the other comment's and let them be your eyes'. I can never trust my own, they lie to me. Just like my ear's do sometimes too. On the day's your feeling the worst just fall back on a meal plan. Eat what they told you to. If you binge or restrict for one meal, write it down, then cross it out and start over from there. Write out what you know you should have with the next meal and then follow it. Look at that wonderfull baby and think how much you want to be there for every thing that he will need a mom for. Eat for him. Think about all the support that you give to all of us and we need you too. Take care of yourself.

lisalisa said...

so glad the picture is still up!

Paula said...

Hi I just found your blog and didnt want to leave without comment. Considering what you went through and have 3 kids I think you are doing remarkable well. From what I can see from this pic - you arent fat. However I guess it doesnt matter how often you have been told so. Recovery holds many challenges and there are such and such days. Please be kind to yourself. Hugs across the pond.