FUCK it I am crying...
I want another baby...like for reals...and I cant have one...I mean I can but M cant he had his stuff snipped...and I am longing...longing for another wee one to hold and nurture and to mold into a vital menbe of society...it seems like every one in RT and in BT (blogtime) is either having a baby ( meaning being pregnant) has had a baby...as in just gave birth or is contemplating having a baby...i can do NONE of those ansd it make SO SAD!!!
Isaiah is 2.4 years old...he is my baby...and you know what he is not getting younger, in fact quite the opposite ...he is getting ...shock to say...older...and really I freaking HATE IT !!!! every gosh darn minute of it...I dont thinkI would feel so bad if I thought that maybe some day it could be a possiabilty but its not, and to think that at 29 I have had my last childbirth really sucks...and needless to say i have never really been well durning my pregnancys (except where I ate cool ranch doritos while pregnant with ALyssa)..they were always soem sort of a stuggle whether it was to gain enough or not to run to much or not to freak out over every gained pound.. i dont knwo I guess I just want a chance to do it right..you know??
and I feel like right NOW I could and as time progresses I would get better at doing it right!!!
BUT I know it can NEVER happen and really that just plain old SUCKS!!
a lovely whine by Z....hug me ..hold me...tell me I can I have your kid...just do something cause this feeling blows...I WANT ANOTHER BABY!!!
and until I get one....Isaiah is NOT allowed to grow...do you hear me GOD....Baby man can not age....like ever..
okay Love you all..will pay for your babies and have a nice night...I may have to snuggle with the babes cause I am SAD!!!