have been a pathetic mess...to the point where I was almost certified this afternoon, I was flabbergasted but it almost happened..
you see monday night my inlaws point blank on the telephone...said..."well you must understand we think you killed our son"
yuppp yep after a yr of working to rid those feeling of guilt, shame, pain, anguish and quilt I allowed then to take away all I had learned and come to believe, in a matter in seconds...long story short I hadnt slept since sunday...still thurday night and no sleep yet///between yesterday and the 12 hours earlier...36 hrs I took 30 something clonipin..apparently that is a suicide attemp...add that to a bout a little over a liter of voodka and in that time, I almost died ...so they say....
I cant even talk right now about how much I am hurting
right now I just want to take the 15 I have stashed for emergency purposes:(
if you pay pray for me...my kids are at thier grandmas...I have a bottle of voodka..pills prescribed and not...not so much to die...just t o quiet the noise