Wednesday, March 9, 2011


Im going Ip friday

for trauma, suicidal thoughts and attempts and detox and a med staightout all much needed

thats all

just thought Id let you all know I gave in

let go of my pride

and decieded my kids deserve a mother who isnt trying to off herself at every turn...

no computer

no phone

no smokes

I hope I am heavily medicated

or it just might make me crazier


peace out

try to update tomorrow on real feelings

right now

not sure how I feel


bananas said...

Wishing you the best.

belinda said...

proud of you!

battleinmind said...

Also proud of you. Thinking of you, hope it is helpful and can get you to a positive place.

Zena said...

Im so scared :(

they will dig into so many feeling and core believes, im not sure I can handle admitting how much I truly hate myself, Mike will think I am weak, Its Alyssas birthday, okay the tears are coming, Please Dear god give me the strength to fight my demons, I feel so alone right now, I have so much to do, and am completely overwhelmed, I want to hide and cry, not an option today, must hold strong, must be brave, I hope the bed is ready tomorrow, the second thoughts are eating at me :(

Angela said...

You are in my thoughts. I know this is so hard and scary. Know that you are never alone. The ed is what will keep you alone and isolated. You are so brave and strong! Keep fighting:)
Sending {{{HUGS}}}

Angela E. Lackey said...

You're never alone. I know we both feel that way right now, but we are not.

I will be praying for you.



belinda said...

feeling alone hon, we all know it too well.. but you are not alone, i am with you all the way. the IP process, you know is not one where things will be addressed all at once, it is one thing at a time, one class, meal, thought, sniffle, tear at a time. you can do this (oh, and i know it's overwhelming and scary but it is doable)

sending much love from my own private room IP.


firefly said...

Came to check in and wish you good luck. Tomorrow is her 8th Birthday? Happy Birthday Alyssa! I somehow thought it was later in the month. Did you have the party after M? I know Zach July 31 and Isaiah April 27??? Hang in there. Stay fighting!