...the "suicide attempt" has left me well feeling...well sad, that it didnt kill me or put me to sleep, that I would have to take so much more to snuff my being from this world and I will most never get the chance with pills again...its also left me feeling manic, like I am invincable nothing can touch me I am a super power, who can take 36 clonipin...nearly a liter of voodka and some other odds and ends pills and still be standing...me thats who. blurgggg. I have the bestest friend ever who gives my heart a reason to live to hope and to soar...I dream of kangeroos, of holding her and watching the waves crash...but thats 7 months away, so I breath and hold tight and try to believe I will be okay.
Rey didnt go to work last night, my mom took my kids and he stayed the night we made love for hours and I fell asleep in in his arms...I slept for 3 hours, safe from the world and close to another warm body...
I want more
whether it be connection...death...or sleep...its all so romantic...love...death...peace
whatever it is I want more