Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Proverbs31.org

I promise this is not going to turn into a blog all about God, altough he does play an intrical part in my life...I heard this question.."If the Biblewere written today, Do you think you might might be in it?"

Ofcourse, me, like many of you are thinking well Duh..NO, Im nothing special. But see thats the whole thing, God loved to put everyday, broken people into the bible...He forgave them, he healed ethier brokeness, and they went on to live very spectacular lives, some doing nothing more then being healed and raising and careing for thier familys. Some ofcourse becomeing Kings and the like, but other went on living very spectactular, ordinary lives.

We were not meant to live this life, muddeling through, praying for the day to end, wishing that we were someone else, anyone else...WE ARE WHO WE WERE MEANT TO BE. Our lives are spectacular and ordninary all at once, IF the Bible were written today, would you be in it, and how would you want your story to end??

I had for a very long time thought I must have done something very wrong in this world for my life to have taken the path that it has, that I shouldnt have to struggle they I have for all these years, but in fact I am comeing to believe that, that may not be true, God allows us all to struggle, Ofcourse the fact is when the rubber meets the road do we call on him to help through our struggles or do we try to face them alone and then become angry with him for not helping us...God does allow us to struggle, so that we might lean on him, and when asked how we struggled we can say "I struggled well"

My eating Disorder,The traumas that have occurred have ravaged my body , mind and soul, I have turned inward, questioned and even become angry at God for not healing me, for dealing me the had that I have been dealt...but...perhaps if I had asked for help, perhaps if I hadnt been so determined to destroy what he gave me, perhaps maybe if I had opened my heart and not spent all my time engrossed in the obessions that I engaged in perhaps then I could have leaned on God and then I could have said by now, I have "struggeled well"...

I know in my heart that I have a purpose for my life, for years I have spent with my head buried in the sand, not wanting to hear anything that might actually help me...2 steps forward, 3 steps back, until I had fallen so deep into the hole behind me I couldnt get up, I refused any help that might have been offered, hell I didnt even yell for help, no one could help me because I wouldnt let anyone in, I dont even think I wanted help , I was perfectly content to stay right where I was in the darkness and dirt of a deep hole, I am no longer willing to stay in that hole, I will claw my way out if I have to, but the fact remains, If I reach out my hand he (God) will take hold and help me out, it wont be easy, I will have to work, struggle, cry, get dirty and fight my way out, but I will and when I do I will be able to see all that I can and will become...

So maybe, just maybe, because I AM ordinary and broken, I would be in the Bible if it were written today, maybe not, but I am going to choose to live that I may be included in those glorious stories, and I know my ending is going to be great, because we dont struggle for futile nothingness, its all in his great plans.

NONE OF OUR STRUGGLES ARE OUR FAULT, BUT HOW LONG WE DECIEDE TO STAY STUCK IN OUR OBESSIONS, WELL THATS UP TO US.

So, my question to all of you, might you be included in the Bible...if perhaps it had been written today?

Love, Tara

4 comments:

Angela E. Gambrel Lackey said...

Remember, God took ordinary, broken people like us and made them into apostles and messengers. Look at St. Paul. Or Mary Magdalene. Or Mary and Martha and their brother, Lazurus. All broken people, everyday people who lived out their lives but also were part of the drama of Christ Jesus! We would be in there, our broken hearts and sorrows, and we *are* in there in some way, just as Christ is with all of us even if we don't always feel it. He surrounds us 24/7 with his love, and he wants us to live lives that glorify Him and show the world His love and how He takes broken people such as and uses us for His purposes.

Yours in Christ!
Angela

battleinmind said...

"WE ARE WHO WE WERE MEANT TO BE."

This is such a hard thing to come to accept, but I guess we live in a broken world, where we have to strive to be something more.

And heck yes about a lot of people in the bible being ordinary and broken.
Look at Mary, she was so young..probably 13ish and a completely average person, yet God chose her to carry his son. I think this shows how much God cares about all.
xxxx

belinda said...

love this entry darlin :)
i know you'd be there.
much love honey. x

Eating Alone said...

Wish I could give you a ladder but it seems your doing good at getting up on your own!

Keep on climbing.