Tuesday, November 11, 2008

looking up

so my friends things are starting to look up..I started exercising again ( this is a trial week to see if I get compulsive) I am allowed to walk 45 min 5 days a week...well 4 days and a dvd of yoga or pilates the 5th day, anyway I am excited, I am eating pretty well and am down to purging like once every other day, so that s good.

i had a good session with S today, we talked allot about balance and normal eating and exercise, how to be "normal" or "average" on my take to life. Even with my cleaning and blogging its like all or nothing like I cleaned my whole house today (yeah for a clean house) but its like once I started I had to finish thats where the compulsiveness comes into play and its like that with the blogging I either blog every day or I do once a week I cant seem to find balance in my life, thats what I am striving for a healthy balance.

I have been up and moving for a while now ( its 1:30pm) and I am afraid of eating again before my schedualed time so I want to take a nap..I hope M lets me hes home today, right now he is napping with the baby so i do think it should be a problem, I should be allowed to nap too, RIGHT?

anyway back to S, i really just adore her we were talking about dinner cause I have to go to dinner tonight with Ms family and she was getting all excited talking about all teh things she likes to eat and all the things she enjoys, it was funny to hear her talk like that, i mean she thin and she exercises but she eat whatever she wants and I think thats just great like she is able to be a perfect example of what balanced is, she was explaining that if once eats to much for lunch then they just have a smaller dinner they dont purge! Really i thought to myself you mean that you just stay really full and it goes away..so I said it out loud and she was like yes! and I even get hungry again later..funny how our bodies work, they actually want and NEED food...yes, funny I said.

We talked about thanksgiving and how I need to balance the day and I am goign to follow Ks plan so all should be well, yes I think i am going to be okay..slowly I am coming into my own understanding of what its like to be non Eded...slowly..although I still want to lose wieght I just want to be healthy too

Love, Zena

1 comment:

DaftDragon said...

I am so glad to hear things are looking up for you, it sounds like you are moving in a really positive direction. Congratulations!

It does seems so funny to hear normal people say normal things about eating and fullness. I too am totally shocked when people can just be ok with naving eaten a huge meal. Perhaps one day that will be us too.

Sending love and strength!