Tuesday, November 18, 2008

day 2

day 2 of the food journal...ummm...thingy

so far so good only puked once yesterday and it was only a little I stopped mid purge and said PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOU R ASS!!! or bowl and I did! yeah me!!

So I saw S today and that was good we talked about the food journal trial shes worried it could lead to restricting hmmmmmm yep it could as I am hungry now but I am not to eta til dinner so I get a few hours of being hungry which must mean I am burning something...hmpth..

i asked if I could have my treadmill back

NOPE

before I could even get out the words NOPE was spoken, actually she laughed at me...yes I can see how it could be funny S yes hahahahaha

I wanna lose wieght I hope this food journal thing can help with that I have gained so much since tx discharge...its gross...so gross

Hospital was mentioned

WTF

we set up a date for M to come in and she made the comment last time we set up an appointment for you 2 we had to cancel cause you went into the hospital...well not this time i said....knock on wood she said...you need to get it together or thats where we are headed

NOT ME not this girl I am to fat for IP again no no no

besides my kids need me and I am getting all involved in thier school stuff how would it look if I had to go to hospital AGAIN....the fourth time this yr ugh I dont think so man, I can stop this purging I can I swear.

good thing is I am allowed to walk 4 days a week for 45 min....as long as i dont get OBSESSIVE okay so i wont..easy enough yeah right...

okay i gotta run

Sarah, if you read this sorry i missed your call i fell asleep...ill try to call you soon...miss you

love Z

4 comments:

Palmtreechick said...

Hmm, she wouldn't suggest the hospital if she didn't think you needed it, my dear!!

I am so glad you pulled your head out of the toilet though. That's big! Good job. I'm glad she won't let you have your treadmill back.

Zena said...

happy dance..lalalalalalala....I didnt purge today ....happy dance.......


PTC, I know she wouldnt say it if it were neccasary but geez I practiclly live in the hospital and thats no good for the kiddos...so I need to step up to the plate and fight fight fight!!!

Love, Z

Palmtreechick said...

Yes you do!! You can do it. Your kids need you!

firefly said...

Zena: ugh I'm sorry you are still struggling. I'm not in a good place either. We need to kick eds butt and LIVE life without it. I'll try and call again tomorrow. Just do your best at the parties. I don't think the food journal is a good idea. I know it leads me to restrict when I do that.
Happy early birthday. You are special. God isn't laughing at you. He is very thankful that you are still alive.Maybe you can have the kids call your grandmother and wish her Happy Birthday. Take care!