Thursday, June 25, 2009

stepping up and stepping down!!

well thats where i am right now I am committed to beating this thing( the demon), but well its just so hard...I am committed to not exercising except for my yoga which is what i am allowed to do...I feel like I am headed down the right path, for the first time in a long time I have some hope. I am stepping up to the plate and committed to owning this demon that has had so much control over me the last 14 years...

So lets see I have spent 10 days IP

2 weeks at PHP and guess what I am moving to IOP next week and I am going camping a week from today..holy moly I am so excited..I just love to go camping the smell of the out doors...the smell of the fire...the food ...ekkkk....but K and I planned my meals last night for the four day excursion in to the great wild wilderness with our three little monsters. No just kidding they love to go camping it should be a blast!!!

So what else is going on?? hmmmmm lets see...My mom and I have been getting along pretty well she has been helping me with the kids at night so I can get some cleaning down cause my house is in complete disaray from all the time I spent with my ED...Ed really steals away your time , your life, and your future...I am really thinking I might make it this time...but I am under no illusion that this wont be hard, hard as hell really, maybe worse then childbirth:)

Mike is exhausted from working til the wee hours of the morning and then watching the kids all day but he only has a few days left where he has to be super dad...I will be back on the boat soon enough,

Zack has his appointment with the pulmernary specialist today for his asthma..i am a little, I hope everything turns out alright..pray for him guys, pray for us all...I promise I will have a more exciting post soon but things have been out of sorts here and my thinking is a little blurred ( new meds) back soon my peeps

love, Z


PTC said...

I hope you make it too.

lisalisa said...

Have fun camping! I am so jealous! When Emma gets back from Bosnia we are going to go, too.
Congrats on not excercising; I know it is hard for you. You are doing so good!

firefly said...

You can do this girl! I love camping too! Read my blog if you have time. Did you find out anything at Zacks apt?

lisalisa said...

thanks so much for your comments on my blog and for supporting me! How are you doing with the "step down"? I hope you are kicking ED ass, but if not that is ok too, just take it one day, one moment at a time! Remember that you are worth it; you deserve to live freely and joyously and not be controlled by an eating disorder!!
((hugs)) lisa

belinda said...

hey hey darling girl!
sorry i have been so absent.
you sound much more stable and focused hon :)

have fun camping! i want to see pix

(i haven't been blogging at all but send me your addy (coz i lost everything on the move) and i promise to write you a long long letter!)

biggest hugs cupcake,
love you,

Zena said...

Oh B, I have wondering how you have been doing (((HUGS))) miss you so much..gosh I miss you, didnt realize how much tilI just saw your post..I just got a warm tiggeling feeling thinkng about a letter from you


firefly said...

Hey Hope you are having a good time camping. Did you do the campfire, marshmellow thing? Miss you? Is it raining there?

belinda said...

i hope you are enjoying the camping
i plan on writing to you soon, had some sad news today, one of my babies (cats) has cancer. he is in for surgery tomorrow. so fingers crossed.

you are in my thoughts
as always hon.

Flushed said...

Glad to hear you're doing well! Camping! How fun! Can't wait to hear how it goes!