Monday, September 26, 2011

its official

I have been dx Bipolar type 1 and I am devastated...I saw pdoc tonight and she wasnt shocked at my feeling about the dx, shes relieved and hopes that with removing the anti depressent and keeping the two mood stabilizers and anti anxiety on board I will stabilize....I have this heightened awareness, and a curiosity for so many things...we were talking and i was reading this HUGE book she has on herbal medication (there are thousands and thousands) she let me take it home and said i could read it til my heart was content and bring it back when i felt I had read or learned enough from it, I took it and im excited to start looking through it maybe i can find some herbal medicines that could replace the pharmacological ones i am on...not likely but i could research....hopefully i will have some time this weekend....I made a diagram of a cell tonight...out of cake, its red velvet cake and blue frosting and numerous molded candies to represent the different parts, it was extra credit so I did it...it didnt have to be cake, it could have been playdoh i just have a draw to food products :)
anyway, I have been up since 4:30 am and really should get some rest...and try not to think that I have been labeled with a disease that makes others think you are insane....sigh...im really very upset about this.

love, Tara

3 comments:

Sairs said...

Hi Tara, I have bipolar too, but type II. I often think though that they have it wrong and that I am type I also. There are too many things I have had happen that aren't supposed to happen with type II. I am sorry you are taking it so hard, I guess for me I feel better when I know, if you know what I mean. I hope you feel better soon. Take care of you!
*hugs*
Sarah

In the Pink said...

The diagnosis isn't going to change you in a bad way....it will just make creating a treatment for you easier. Stay strong and hold your head high. But do be careful who you tell you are Bipolar to. So many people do not understand that it isn't as bad as it sounds. Well it isn't that great either :)

firefly said...

I know nothing about bipolar etc so maybe explain it a bit more or link to symptoms. I just always run 150 miles in over geer just born that way I guess with es tendacies. Oh I had a point to make I found that last year even when I took that course wait that was two years ago anyway I couldn't have fun books or distractions from they reading I had to do for class. You have three kids so umm that's enough distraction. lol During the school year I couldn't have books I really want to read until all cb pages are read hugs