Tuesday, September 7, 2010

right so...

post number 300!!

anyway in my current state, my T, N, and pdoc have communicated...with me..with each other after hours...I was promised by all 3 they would not commit me...if you all are not from the U.S...that means not to certify...plans have been made...pills to be given to pdoc, she will then dispense to me to give to S who will give me 3 days worthg at a time...S and pdoc will talk thursday to discuss any med changes...and both will call each night...S also instructed oncall services at her practice to directly call her so that she may immediatly call me instead of me talking to some shrink I dont know ( as she knows I wont do) and that in the past has inhibited me from calling services...

I will be safe tonight


tomorrow will come

I dont know know what tomorrow will bring

but

it might be better

Zack had another episode

I will speak about that on his blog

I m very scared and so have moved all my meds to my car for tonight...

this will pass

this too shall pass...

The BIBLE says so

Im holding on to any hope I might have

because at the moment

swallowing the 234 pills in possesion sounds really really peaceful

but

I will be safe

tonight

cause tomorrow

is a new day

right so..

til tomorrow

Love, tara

(drowning in a pool of deep salt water)

salt make you float you know...

10 comments:

Angela E. Gambrel Lackey said...

You will be safe. Remember again you can call anytime. I truly mean that!

Stay safe.

Angela

belinda said...

you know what i see?
a girl fighting to stay afloat (with or without the salt!)
you are doing this eventho it is fucking hard. that my dear friend takes tremendous courage. did you know that? have you ever considered yourself courageous? i have!

Xx

jadedchalice said...

be safe sweetie, I really hope you will be ok. Much Love.

Eating Alone said...

You need to give them those pills! And you need to take the ones that they give you in the PRESCRIBED manner. Don't save them up and.

I'll be praying for you and your family.

Zena said...

Okay so its another morning, I truely love you all, Im here, engulfed in panic, wondering what the day will bring...really I dont know what to say, I havent been in this type of crisis mode for a long while, but I know I am in crisis and taking steps to ensure my safety, I know ( logiclly) this can not last forever, its got to get better...I also know I must try to be proactive to try and help myself and my children through this, I just .... Im not sure what it is...

thankyou all again (B) courageous, :) I love you for saying that but right now I feel like the cowardly Lion :(..I need dorthys heels...click 3 times..

belinda said...

the lion just had to find his courage, he had it all along... hmm.. and i do have a pair of ruby red sequin slippers if you would like to borrow!! ;)
(although, they haven't even taken me anywhere, they are very cute!)

Melanie said...

Keep holding on.

sarahlynn said...

All you can do is stay safe for each moment. I believe you can to that. Just keep going on. I am so proud of you for working with your treatment team to do what you need to to stay safe. *hugs* You CAN get through this, and I am ALWAYS here if you need someone to talk to.

jadedchalice said...

you watched my song when you have all this going on....truly you are a loving loving person. I just wish i could hug you right now, god wow, you are amazing.

I totally wish you could feel the gratitude and love that i am feeling in my heart right now

thank you

lisalisa said...

still praying for you hun.....<3