Friday Nov. 4th was a pretty horriable day. Last class of the day and we were discussing Maslow's theory. The pyrimid of the hierarchy of human needs, the bottom tier being basic needs such as oxygen, food, water ect. The top tier being self actualization. Pretty much feeling complete in life, socially, finacially, emotionaly...you feel like you will continue to evolve, but are content in your life, you have high self esteem, you are not worried about things like what people will think of your oppinions, you are comfortable. YOU ARE HAPPY WITH LIFE.
Well this twit of a girl ( who happens to know about mike and his suicide) took it apon herself to state that she read a "study" that people who have reached the self actualization stage feel that they have completed everything there is in life so they KILL THEMSELVES. Which if she even had bothered to read the lecture she would have seen that in that stage we still CONTINUE to evolve. Well as you can imagine I became very upset and tried to state my case that suicide is something that occurs when someone who has a mental illness reaches thier breaking point, you never hear of someone killing themselves because they are just so dam happy right? Yes, this girl was a fuck wit and I was highly upset by her "theory" but even more upset that she refused to listen to any other statements regaurding her not only ignorant but highly WRONG statements. I all of the sudden burst into tears, and ran from the room. I couldnt stop crying. I was unbelieveably triggered and nearly had a panic attack in the bathroom, I cried for a full on 30 mins at school, thankfully I had some wonderful classmates who helped me through a very difficult time. Unfortunately I have been having flashbacks and panic attacks all weekend, I can not stop the thoughts, Im not sure why this triggered such a reaction, I have talked about Mikes suicide at lenth and am able to talk about it and able to educate others on mental illness but this, this statement took away everything that I believe to be true, people suicide because they seen life has nothing to offer, that thier pain will never end and they can not see a way out, NOT because the were so freaking happy.
I think maybe part of it was that she was giving such misinformation, so skewed from the truth I couldnt handle hearing one more word and add that to the fact that she KNEW my story and how sick Mike was and still proceded to carry on with this nonsense, with no regaurd for my feelings and no problem argueing with me just to make herself seem more knowledgable. It was a combination of rage and grief swirled into one horriable moment, and I felt completely out of control. I hate that this girl had so much power over me and that her false statements impacted me so much but they did and they still are.
I shook while driving to school this morning with the thought of having to face this girl who knew how much she was hurting me and continued to do so, I want my head to stop spinning, I want the rumination to stop, I have been trying to ground myself all weekend but havent done so well, my one and only consoulation is that she is now hated by the entire class as now EVERYONE knows about mike, but also what a complete ass she is.
so thats the story of Maslow and the idiot girl