So I saw K this morning..and well Have a confession to make..things have been a little tricky on the food front lately:( so sad to admitt but honesty is the first key to Recovery right? So our plan...Basics Breakfast, lunch, mini meal, dinner..what tis a mini meal you ask well its more then a snack and less then a meal so there you have it a mini meal. hpth not so sure how I feel about the idea about a mini meal before dinner, but I shall do what i am told til my Ed brain releases the reigns a bit.
So we talked about my 2 episodes of purging in the last week and how last night another bit of one of my poor broken teeth fell off...soo soo sad:(
We talked about being on track with the other NON ED things in my life, such as the BEACH going!!! the house cleaning, the disciplying of my children, all things that are going well in my life..yeah for things that are going well!Right?
So anyway back to the basic thing...I didnt realize how far from the abndwagon I got til she asked me "the QUESTIONS" Like what did you have for breakfast? answer...ummm I was a bit taken aback like I did nt expect the question or anything...ummm nothing I said..it was then 10:07...well you missed teh breakfast window..now what?? well I said i can have it when I get home...Im think good reply...she thinks...it will throw off the rest of your day. I think quick on my feet...well Ill eat at 11, then 2:30 then 5:30 then 8:30, she kinda gives a half smile but says she will go with it today..and only TODAY tomorrow back to the basic scheduale of B..then L...then MM ...then D..so I agree..whew...that was a close one!
So she gave me back my basic MP, not the desprtly skimpy o ne from 3 yrs ago but the one from when I left my last IP stay...not the one I just had but the one before that...are you following me so far:)
SO whats on the menu...ohhh lots of good stuff like fruit and veggies and protiens and fats and ohhh yes the dreaded STARCH!!!@ which must be incorperated DURNING the day instead of in these subjective binges I am having at night..yes I told her..go me...she says and I trust her, that if i will just incorperate these HEALTHY starches into my diet, then the mini binges will not occur and I can stop obsessing about how fat they are making me cause really guys I hate to admitt it but they are driving me BANANAS!!!
Okay so goal for today: FOLLOW Ks MP exactly..I am already on the right path because I ate at 11...okay 2:30 here I come...remember HEALTHY STARCHES are good for the body!!
Okay wish me luck!!
Love, Z