Sunday, September 20, 2009

Im sorry

I know that, that does not even begin to say what i mean...meaning i am sorry for leaving you all hanging thinking bad thoughts like maybe she is in the hospital or dead or something...I mean really the way my last 2 weeks have been going I might have been better off dead...seriously things have been ummmm shit-tastic!!!

The kids have started school...all is well there...they love school...I have been sticking to a quite a strict scheduale....and they have been doing better...BUT the weekends come and all hell breaks loose like no structure...crazy choas...mosters fighting and yelling and wreaking havoc on my sanity...which i might say is ina very fragile place right now...like yesterday I had a serious meltdown cause my 3 not just 2 but 3 children decieded to take ALL thier clothes all of there drawers and throw tehm around thier rooms...so yeah I FLIPPed...I mean I spent all week doing approximently 35 loads of laundry washing drying and putting away everything that we all own and they singly handedly destroyed all my hard work in about 5 minutes...so yeah maybe my lamictal had a momentary laspe in working and I flipped...and threw a toy against the wall ... no one was there except me and my anger... I dont know why i got so angry but I did and I felt terriable and of course that affected my food but I digress...you know what apon pondering my anger it was most likely directed at my husband who has although not in the last week been a ass has ofcourse had his moments ...to the point that a week ago I was SERIOUSLY thinking about filieng for divorce...like for reals...but we are going to marriage counceling and hopefully we will figure stuff out...

So anyway ...to top off my tremendoully wonderful two weeks I wrecked my car on friday...like with all three kids in the car...I rear ended some really nice dude on my way to bringing the kiddies to school...so maybe that was why I was so angry....things have been a mess and my desire to write has been nil...but now that I am writting... I thinkI will be writting allot more...cause I have allot more to say...i have to get ready for church but I have not even begun to explain how crazy the last 2 weeks have been...guess its a good reason NOT to stop blogging cause man have I got allot to catch you guys up on...but I must end on a positive note...tTHE 3.5 hours of me and baby time has been TERRIFIC!!!!! we laugh and tickle and read and it stupendous!!!

okay my sweet lovelies I have missed you so and whether you like it or NOT I am back and will catch up on all your lovely lives a bit later today...just thought I would let you know I have not been eaten by lions ...at least not yet although that might be in the realm of possiabiltys seeing the direction my karma has been going ...

Love you all Tara

17 comments:

now.is.now said...

You wonder if I like it or not that you're back? I LIKE IT! I'm sorry the last bit has been so hard! I'm glad you're loving your baby time. You sound like you're staying strong anyway, despite the hardship. Your writing isn't frantic - it's just honest, which is a good thing. Only blog so long as it's helpful. Don't make it a chore. Do it so that it helps you.

We've miss ya around here!

Flushed said...

Busy, busy, busy Tara Bee! I was wondering what happen to you!

Eating Alone said...

Glad your back. And being busy just means that your LIVING!!! I'm glad, even the accident, it suck's but your ok, the kids are ok and life goes on. Like my T say's learning to deal with the mess' makes us stronger.

lisalisa said...

aargh! I thought I commented on this already but I guess I just read it and forgot to comment!
I'm glad you are back cause I missed you. But, now where did you go? I hope everything is ok.

firefly said...

Z: How are you? Life still hectic? I miss your blogs. Did you hear about Belinda? I haven't checked her blog but been on fb. Love ya!!!

firefly said...

T: I wonder how you are doing? Can you come back??? People care!

Blu said...

i miss your posts...please come back...everything okay?

firefly said...

I think you've been eaten by lions.

Eating Alone said...

I hope you have not been eaten by lions but I do miss you. I hope you and the kids are well.

firefly said...

are you ok?

Blu said...

i worry about you. from time to time i think, please let her be okay. if you could just take a minute to say- i'm alive! that would be great. i think we all miss you..

belinda said...

miss and love you.
Xx

firefly said...

I'm worried about you also. You don't answer texts or your phone. Please just drop by.

zubeldia said...

has anyone heard from Tara? Really worried that we haven't anything :(

Blu said...

If anyone has heard anything, please share because I worry that something is terribly wrong... :(

now.is.now said...

I am also worried about you, Tara. Please take time to write a note that just says "hello" to let us know you're okay. I wish I had your phone number or e-mail. I'd be trying to contact you to make sure you're okay.

firefly said...

I got a text on Monday. She basically said she is living with her mom right now. Happy Birthday Tara!!!!