okay my internet shit the bed yesterday...so sorry I wasnt around but i did do allot of thinking....starting in january I am GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!
early childhood education....as you all know I LOVE KIDS... want em...need em...love em...gotta have em...
SO I am going to teach them!!! I am SOOOOO excited!!!! like for reals, havent felt this good or confident about anything in a LONG LONG LIKE FOREVER TIME!!
I will start slow... a class or two on the either the weekends (if I am watching that baby) or early afternoon a couple days a week if i am not...I CANT WAIT!!!
am I nervous..ummm yeah...I mean every time I went to collage i was forced with a medical withdrawel cause of stupid things like passing out and what not....but NOT anymore... I am in recovery and part of Recovery is thinking about the ummmmm....FUTURE....something i have NOT allowed myself to think about...even for a second...but here I am thinking about the future.
I really am SOOOOOOOOOO excited, I cant beleive it... I couldnt even email S my decision ysterday cause ummm NO INTERNET....I mean we talked about it but it was just talk.... NOW I AM SURE... guess Ill suprize her tomorrow...
okay yesterday was a shit day...starting right after my Pdoc appointment...walked out to a flat tire....so yeah my day went great from there...Ill spare you the details...just know that even if my internet wasnt dead i probally would nt have been around anyway cause I after sitting on my bum for 2 hours waiting for mike to get there and then the fixing of the tire...i had to run around like an idiot trying to get stuff done like Alyssas physical...where after I had a melt down cause they told me she is bordering on being overwieght...yes she a little chubby (very little) but she is built like a rock...lots of muscle and big boned..BMI s dont take any of that into consideration...anyway...i had a momentary flip out, ran to the store to buy all "healthy" food and teh whole time imagined what would happen if I tried to control my daughters food...ie shell bee IP by 9 cause Eds run in my family and Ill give her a nervous breakdown...so i collected myself...kinda... and decieded to just offer her better food choices..I needed to do that anyway...BUT I WILL NOT MAKE HER NOR I NUTS OVER THIS!!!
okay I mean you have all seen her ...she s NOT fat...right??? and even if she were...there are worse things she could be...like a childhood serial killer or freak it...she could be really sick like with something bad... like cancer...not just bordering on bordering being overwieght...
okay Ill leave now cause Iam working myself up...did I mention I am going to school...eyes on the prize Tara...eyes on the prize!!!
love you all