Sunday, August 17, 2008

fighting

I am fighting to win this battle with addictions, I caved last night and gave into the alcohol...I ate to much but didnt purge which is good...I also did allot of moving and somehow hurt my left foot..ohhhh it hurts, I went for a short run yesterday morning and then walked around an amusment park for 4 hours because .... we had Zacks 4th birthday party. He had a blast, the weather stayed nice so we stayed extra long and I am paying for all the extra exercise...

Anyway my stay in the hospital went well they were very strict on the food front and I think maybe I might make it, I am trying really trying this go around and I start the day program tomorrow so that will be good, and I they are going to call me for an alcohol evaluation tomorrow...so I will be getting tx for that as well.

I miss S

I am tired and a little cranky about the foot situation...

I guess I dont have much to say these days Ill update when something of importance occures

Love, Zena

9 comments:

zubeldia said...

Hi Honey, I'm glad you're back. I'm worried about you. I hate that you're running, chica.Stay safe, okay?

love Z

Zena said...

I know I shouldnt be running but I cant seem to shake the idea that I need to earn my food...anyway I have been having minipanic attacks all day and am left feeling drained and a quite a bit sad..I miss the safty of IP and the comfort of knowing I cant hurt my self but I am ready to start day tx tomorrow and hope things will look up in the morning

I am really missing S and am thinking of emailing her although she doesnt answer on the weekends and that will just make me sadder...

Love, Zena

belinda said...

Awww Zena,
You don't need to 'earn' your nourishment. Damn that awful eating disorder that tells you otherwise. I know that you would never condone this thought in me honey.

Please be careful with your exercising. It's not worth further damage/ injury. I know you know this.

Glad to hear that you are getting the day Tx :)
Good for you on accepting some of the care you desperately need!

I miss you!
Email me with your postal address & maybe I can write to you ;)

xo

Sarah said...

i'm glad to hear from you, honey. good luck with tx today.

love you

firefly said...

Yeah you're back! How did it go today. Was the program any better! I love you with all my might. You are stronger then you think. Look inside to see what we already know. You can beat this! The road might be hard but you've made great strides just admitting that alcohol is an issue. I love you to the moon and back again!

firefly said...

It appears that I'm going through medical rebound with the drugs.Anxiety levels out of control this was my worry with starting drugs. I was flying off walls all day. Just spoke with my arnp. Can't figure out how to add you back girl. How did it go today? Hopefully I'll stop shaking and can concentrate enough to give you a call. I want to hear about your day.

zubeldia said...

how are you doing, love?

firefly said...

Zena: You have me worried! Hoping you are just busy getting the help you need!

Sarah said...

hey darlin -- check in, ok? love you.