Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I have the ability

I am once again pulling myself out of a severe relapse, here's the thing when I fall I fall fast and hard, like a brick from a building, like I almost ended up in the wonderful hospital, "because multiple forms of purging can and will kill you" you know starving, running, purging and pill popping is multiple from what I understand of the definition...boo on me. but because I am me and some how have a moment of clarity in which having a heart attack is not the way I want to go, I pull up my boot straps, button my big girl pants and get to work on doing this recovery thing again for the upteenth time, what eves Im following (trying) (back to the minimum mp)which I have done fairly well on...4 out of the last 7 days, ED isnt going to kill me, Im stronger, I know it, I need to feel it but I will fake it til I make it...

Oh and p.s

Im starting to write a book, on paper as of now...I think the titles going to be..."Truth, Tragedy, and Triumph" ( dont steal my title if your writing a book too:))

It starts 30 days before my 9th birthday...and well since my story is unfinished, I dont know when it will be completed...I guess the day I realize my my dream of being my own hero comes true...so lucky all of you who get to say "I knew her when..."

lol

love you all

Tara

8 comments:

battleinmind said...

Oohh exciting stuff about the book!! And great news you're keeping on with recovery, I know how hard it is to drag yourself out of a relapse.
xx

Eating Alone said...

Heart attacks are not fun, ask my sister. No heart attacks. Stay well.

Angela E. Gambrel Lackey said...

I know you can do it!!! I believe in you.

I'm working on my memoir for class, which I plan to eventually turn into a book. It was more painful to write than I thought.

*Hugs*

Angela

THE CREATION OF A BEAUTIFUL LIFE said...

Keep fighting! You certainly aren't alone in this hellish battle! Happy Thanksgiving!

belinda said...

loves it!
can't wait to read :)

Xx

firefly said...

I'm happy that you are back on the band wagon. At least Zach is able to get some sleep now. That has to make him feel a little better!

firefly said...

Happy Birthday Tara! Love to you!

belinda said...

to my darling tara,
happy birthday sweets.
i know today might be tough and bring up some unpleasant thoughts but i hope you can let in some love and light on this day. a day to celebrate a wonderfully strong woman, a kind and generous soul of whom we all love and admire.

you have had challenges in this life that nobody should have to face but today my love, look at your heart and celebrate how beautiful you are, how far you have come and yes.. give yourself some credit too ;)

i will raise a glass in your honour tonight honey, to celebrate my dear friend, making it through a very tough year and to wish her all the very best for her future.

love you.
x